It was seven years ago that the flamingos landed here. A few months prior, my husband of 12 years had informed me that he had fallen out of love with me and was moving back to Switzerland without me. My mother gave me this house on an acre and a half in the country so I would always have a home close to family. I moved in on my birthday and a few weeks later I checked myself into a mental health facility because I wanted to die. When I was released, I came home to a driveway full of plastic flamingos. It was my sister's way to welcome me to my new life.
It's been a wild ride. I start moving forward and get knocked on my ass. Right before the pandemic started, I really thought I was on my way to having it together and was really happy with my life. Then I got knocked on my ass over and over and over again. I was feeling like if I got knocked down again, I wouldn't get back up. I reached out for help six weeks ago. I've changed from Team Lexapro to Team Prozac and it seems to be helping.
Yesterday I spent an hour on the phone talking to my next therapist, giving her the Cliffs Notes version of my life and what I am looking to get out of therapy. She’s an intern. She gave me the opportunity to ask for a different person to take my case since she will be gone in July. No, I want the intern. She is in for a treat. She is going to learn a lot from me. I opted to do therapy on the phone rather than in person or on Zoom. I think it will be easier to tell someone my deepest darkests without having to look at them. Though I’m sure she will google me, I would like to imagine she wouldn’t have any idea what I look like.
I'm determined to do everything I can to try to start moving forward again.
So to celebrate 5 years since I named my home Old Darb’s Plastic Flamingo Farm, I ordered some new flamingos. I'm going to review them on YouTube. My bestie is coming up to play in my dirt this weekend. Hopefully the new flamingos arrive when she is here so she can help me plant them!
My attitude is improving.
Love Life.
Be Art.
Comments